office of the lingo coroner
Certificate of
Linguistic Death
✠ filed in perpetuity ✠
⸻ Phrase of Record ⸻
“irregardless”
Coroner and community disagree.
DISPUTED
⸻ Status of Decedent ⸻
Disputed
⸻ Peak Era ⸻
uncertain
⸻ Cause of Death ⸻
Half the jury insists it was never alive.
⸻ Confidence of Autopsy ⸻
55%
⸻ Meaning ⸻
Regardless, with extra letters and extra enemies.
⸻ Modern Translation ⸻
“Regardless.”