office of the lingo coroner
Certificate of
Linguistic Death
✠ filed in perpetuity ✠
⸻ Phrase of Record ⸻
“split”
Mostly ironic, occasionally sincere, still lurking.
UNDEAD
⸻ Status of Decedent ⸻
Undead
⸻ Peak Era ⸻
1960s
⸻ Cause of Death ⸻
Still understood, rarely chosen.
⸻ Confidence of Autopsy ⸻
60%
⸻ Meaning ⸻
Leave, usually quickly.
⸻ Modern Translation ⸻
“Bounce.”